INDEX - FUN & GAMES
www.islandbreath.org ID#0719-06

SUBJECT: KAUAI MAYOR BAPTISTE

SOURCE: JONATHAN JAY jonathan@DAkauai.com

POSTED: 31 OCTOBER 2007 - 5:00pm HST

Bryan and Linda Don't Surf

image above: graphic of Baptiste & Lingle by Jonathan Jay. Click to see full size image.

by Jonathan Jay on 30 October 2007

Has anyone seen Bryan Baptiste in the last year or so? Ever since the SuperFiasco began dominating the news cycle, we have seen neither hide nor hair of our beloved Mayor. Did he miss the boat? Is he still Mayor of Kaua`i? Did he float away as some adjunct to a reputed Borg-like semi-totalitarian "Unified Command"?

As I recall, some time ago he was declared Mayor by virtue of receiving 46.8% of the vote in the primary by a man he himself appointed Kaua`i County Clerk. Scratch that itch!

"I'm Neutral" he was reported to have said when asked why he refused to stand up for Kaua`i. Perhaps he is confused whether he is the Mayor of the island of Kaua`i or the Mayor of the island of Neutral. Stockholm Syndrome?

Perhaps it is time to stick his face on the side of milk carton or some other dairy container, so we can catch whomever abducted our Mayor, and return him to the Garden Isle.

To that end, included with this story is a full sized graphic of our missing-in-inaction leader for you to print up and post conspicuously in your neighborhood. Try make stickers lidat. Look good on your bumper, brah.

Also included is a graphic of the primary Bry-napping suspect, one SuperNefarious "Tutu Linda." Mayor Bryan was last seen held captive in her company at the Convention Hall in obvious pain and discomfort, looking dour, frowning and grimacing for what seemed like a lifetime. Poor Mayor Bry!

If anyone has any information that might lead to the return of our Mayor - even if via the SuperScary Alaka`i - please contact Island Breath. We miss our Mayor!

 

Dialog from the play
The 'Aina Monologues
by Koohan “Camera” Paik


Taken from transcripts of the meeting with the Governor Linda Lingle and Unified Command on 9/20/07 at the Lihue Peace & Justice Convention Hall.

BAPTISTE: We have a situation where we dont’ have a legal decision on whether the Superferry can come here to Nawiliwili or not. (boos) The mayor of this island does not create the laws.

MAN 3: My question was, do you not realize that people are going to be at risk on Wednesday. How do you feel about that. Your heart. Not your political answer. Your heart. I know you’re from Kauai, and I know that you are a feeling person. How do you feel about the fact that people will be at risk on Wednesday?

LINGLE: Mayor? Mayor? May I say something?

ROARS: NO!

MAN 3: I asked the mayor a question respectfully. I respectfully asked the mayor a question politely, and I respectfully asked him for his answer, not your answer.

LINGLE: Okay, I just wanted to share something with you about your per—

MAN 3: He can make his own answers, thank you.

BAPTISTE: I’ve said from...I”ve said from the very beginning, with legal direction, I could stand by what is legally already, what is desired. Now, I am speaking for myself. And I’m speaking, yes I worry. Every moment of the day I worry. That’s why I’ve been trying to get sides together to come to some solution. Right at this point, we have a logjam. We have a community that has great passion. And at the same time, I don’t have anything to legally say that the superferry cannot come to Kauai.

 


see also:
Island Breath: GTA meets San Diego 10/25/07
Island Breath: Jet Ski Economy 10/21/07
Island Breath: Yes Men & Vivoleum
9/7/07
Island Breath: American Dream Dies 8/30/07
Island Breath: Nascar, Cheney & Military 6/3/07
Island Breath: Doctor Monkey Ball 3/26/07
Island Breath: DU Headed Golf Clubs 2/8/07
Island Breath: Merging Virtual Worlds 3/27/06
Island Breath: Syntheic World Apocalypse 12/19/05
Island Breath: The Black Urchin 1/18/05



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